Octoberdeer

Its nearly November. Which means what? Nearly Halloween? Nearly XMAS?! Sure thing...but it also means that the Reindeer are mating. Obviously the freak males who fail to find a mate are given the power to fly and become slaves of Santa for eternity until he has more reindeer than he does bastard products of consumerism and they take him out of the stratosphere in some kind of freak anti-gravity kamikazi incident. All hypothetical. 

But seriously, this Santa myth detracts from the mystique behind the reindeer. I mean, this applies to lots of other animals too. How do they enjoy themselves? Why are they so stupider than us yet so seemingly less irrational? I mean we go about sky-diving and buying ceramic smoking babies from the internet...and if we don't we complain about life or write bad things about people we're jealous of in our diaries. 

So how do reindeers get their kicks? I refuse to believe that they eat, grow up, fight, mate, and die. Oh, SURE they "play"...as many nature documentaries will have shown us. But is chasing and sniffing really playing? Tetris would blow their hoofed minds. I think theres a dark secretive side. I mean, when people are around, deer are only capable of expressing a hilarious expression of fear. When we're not around? WHO KNOWS?! FREAKING...UFO GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY. The truth is out there.